….That is my place of current residence. My nether regions are constantly on fire and dare I say it…dripping wet. I have obviously unleashed something. Or is it that I have let go of something. Am not entirely sure (which is my constant song, it would seem) but between the meditation (which is bloody hard might I add) and the tantric article readings ( which is mostly vague at best) I do still feel an internal shift.
If it were neccesary to attribute something to it….for appreciations sake then I guess I would call it a subtle enlightening from all of the above. It is very hard to pass it on to you as ready packaged knowledge because on this journey you take from the info only what your body needs….what your brain retains…what your mind accepts as truth for you. Undoubtably my truth is different to yours. Right….sorry i’m babbling.
So apart from being constantly wet and horny…apart from my heightened sexuality due to my personal play I have also gained a faint mental release from the shackles of society who have constructed my reality-with regards to what is acceptable sexual behaviour for a woman.
So I quickly started to learn that before I can go commanding the heavens where my sexlife is concerned….it was very important, infact essential for me to get to know myself personally/sexually.
I needed to know exactly what I like in bed, what makes me tick…for if I dont know how can I expect it from another, right? So off I went on a very self-indulgent masterbating routine. I really did romance myself, fresh flowers, candles, incence the lot. In the bath, in the bed, with my toys with just a finger…even using a flannel ( you’d be suprised at how much roughage one can get from an old flannel (perfect friction on the clit).
What I learnt throughout this process (which is still on going) is…’mmmmmm, cumming feels good’!However it still remained that this feeling I get is only an inch compared to the real release that tantric sex provides. What I mean is that although I would eventually cum it wasnt a full release….it wasnt a sexual abandonment of all the troubles of life, y’know? Like the sort of cumming that leaves you breathless and unable to move, all limp bodied…temporarily disabled.
Throughout this masterbating period however, I did get to know myself. That might sound strange as I didnt suddenly find out something or anything specifically new about myself. Initially I was spending alot of time trying to get out of my own head, trying not to trail off on a tangent thought which, had nothing to do with what I was doing.I had to learn to stop overthinking things and to just focus on thoughts that enhanced the situation at hand (punn intended).
The biggest realisation was that over time I noticed that I had lessened my start to finish time. In the begining, it would take me a good hour to relax into it, stop trailing thoughts and eventually let go enough to build an orgasm and cum. Whereas nowadays 15 mins will do . I think that thats a great lesson (it may seems contradictory to the idea of tantra and extending the orgasm) I ‘ve obviously learned how to hone in on that part of me which ultimately bodes very well for my sexy trip to tantra ville. I guess it has also made me feel more subtely empowererd. To know that my own pleasure is in my own hands (literally) and thus the realisation that my pleasure should not depend on another. So to anyone who will listen…..take charge and keep your sexy powers!
I am a woman who is on a journey to heighten my sexuality through tantric means. What is that I hear you ask? If I’m honest I barely know myself. But what I do know is that as great as my sex life is…I am sure that I am only using (or enjoying) 10% of what I believe it (my sexual enjoyment) to be capable of.
Does that even make sense? To me it does! I can feel it. Even if I reach orgasm I know that I have barely scratched the surface of the feel good factor that sex can provide. It’s almost like the scientifically unproven religious feeling that there is a God. I believe that there is a higher sexual plain and I WILL reach it! You are very welcome to follow me on this journey to discovering the power of my loins..LOL.
During this time I intend to learn all about tantra through reading relevant books, attend lectures/courses and the likes. I also intend to put all learned material into practise wether it’s meditation, massage, breathing techniques etc. You ….(should you be interested) will get a first hand insight into this, my tantric journey. Juicy or not!
I am realistic in that I will be making these posts as and when I have something relevant to say rather than just continuos drivel on the subject matter…so bare with me on this that is to be one hell of a trip…or is that, one heavenly trip? Either way watch this space!